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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 31 total)
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  • #47203

    Anonymous

    There are NO posts in this forum category.
    Where are all our members with a sense of humour?
    Are they all depressed because of the possibility of another GFC?
    Are they world weary or perhaps forum weary?
    Are they suffering from shock and comatosed by a bad Foul & Miss call?
    Are they sulking because our leaders have not provided a Private Message facility on our forum?
    Are they dejected by the apparent lack of interest in posting by our members?

    Harry!!! Where are you ? Save us. Come out of retirement and lead the Forum Revival we are all awaitng!!!

    :unsure:

    #47449

    Anonymous

    A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.

    ‘Mommy,’the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’

    ‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied.
    ‘It’s not polite.’

    ‘OK’, the little girl says,
    ‘How much do you weigh?’

    ‘Now really,’ the mother says, ‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’

    Undaunted, the little girl asks,’Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’

    ‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’

    The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

    ‘My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,’ the little girl says to her friend.

    ‘Well,’ says the friend,
    ‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s licence.
    It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.’

    Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
    ‘I know how old you are. You are 32.’

    The mother is surprised and asks,
    ‘How did you find that out?

    ‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’

    The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
    ‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’

    ‘And,’ the little girl says triumphantly,
    ‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce.’

    ‘Oh really?’ the mother asks.’Why?’

    ‘Because you got an F in sex.’

    #47450

    Anonymous

    4 Worms in church

    Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

    A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

    Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

    The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

    The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

    The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

    The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

    At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

    The first worm in alcohol…Dead.

    The second worm in cigarette smoke…Dead.

    Third worm in chocolate syrup…Dead.

    Fourth worm in good clean soil…Alive.

    So the Minister asked the congregation, What did you learn from this demonstration?

    Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

    ‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

    That pretty much ended the service!

    #47469

    Anonymous

    Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscle Contraction’ to the first year medical students.

    This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

    He pointed to a pretty young woman in the front row and asked, ‘Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?’

    She replied, ‘Probably golfing with his mates.’

    It took 45 minutes to restore order!

    #47473

    Anonymous

    A recent poll has shown the following results for Q Ball’s hilarious contributions to our Jokes topic…..

    1… Golfing with mates…4 stars

    2…4 worms demonstration… 3 stars

    3… Driving licence report card…4 stars

    Further contributions are invited to help ward off members’ mental breakdown due to the looming Global Financial Crisis.

    :whistle:

    PS…What are the odds of KEVIN-O -11 taking back his old job from JULIA ?

    :silly:

    #47484

    Anonymous

    My neighbour found out that her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.

    The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears.

    He cleaned both ears, and the dog could hear fine.

    The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month.

    The lady went to the chemist and bought some “Nair” hair remover.

    At the register, the pharmacist told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.”

    The lady said, “I’m not using it under my arms.”

    The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t shave for a couple of days.”

    The lady replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know I’m using it on my schnauzer.”

    The pharmacist said, “Stay off your bicycle for about a week.”

    #47489

    Anonymous

    where are you nick :silly:

    #47607

    Anonymous

    How do u know wen ur girlfriend is getting fat?

    When she starts fitting in2 ur wifes clothes.

    #47614

    Anonymous

    Politicians are like nappies…

    they should be changed for the same reason…

    :whistle:

    #48250

    Anonymous

    [attachment=49]426815_10150550800084154_564174153_8531892_182289133_n.jpg[/attachment]

    #48255

    Anonymous
    radster wrote:
    [attachment=49]426815_10150550800084154_564174153_8531892_182289133_n.jpg[/attachment]

    FP…”Julie , I’m getting embarrassed.Why is your hand inside my shirt?”

    Julie…”I’m looking for my shoe…it’s my favourite pair


    D”

    :whistle:

    #48363

    Anonymous

    [attachment:1]401257_366518630042579_100000533346979_1374636_1776527082_n.jpg[/attachment]

    #48364

    Anonymous

    [attachment=51]Security_73fee5_3295613.jpg[/attachment]

    #48400

    Anonymous

    [attachment=54]396405_10150584513224585_605449584_9160777_571590027_n.jpg[/attachment]

    #48463

    Anonymous

    [attachment=61]FACELESS.jpg[/attachment]

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